The Three Strikes Communication Rule

When building a startup, connecting with others is essential. And the onus is often on us to take the initiative and reach out to potential investors, partners, customers, and even friends or acquaintances. Yet when do we cross the line between persistence and annoying?

How often have I heard or thought: “I reached out, but they did not respond. That must mean they aren’t interested.”

Does it? Is that really what it means?

Or does it mean that:

• The spam filter ate your email?
• The voicemail didn’t come through?
• An inadvertent swipe on the smartphone deleted it?
• The text was not received?
• They do not monitor their LinkedIn messages very often?
• They were on vacation or at a crazy conference or at a funeral or dealing with a crisis?

Of course, it could mean that they really are not interested. However, when you are eager to reach someone, it pays to demonstrate persistence while being mindful of avoiding being overly pushy.

Before I conclude that someone is intentionally choosing not to respond, I apply my Three Strikes Communication Rule. The rule is:

• Reach out THREE times
• By at least TWO different communication channels
• Over at least ONE week’s time

Before giving up and waiting to try again a good while later.

The logic behind my rule for navigating the communication initiation dance is rooted in the notion that one message not responded to could easily be an error. We have all gotten busy at some point and had a message slip off of our radar screen, so it makes sense that the same thing could happen to the person we are trying to reach. By reaching out three times spread out over at least a week or two, we can hopefully increase our chances of having our communication land at a time when someone is available and able to actively respond. Some errors happen because we have the wrong number or a spam filter does not recognize us as a legitimate communication, which is why I always try via at least two different communication channels (e.g., email, phone call, text, LinkedIn message, etc.) so that if my message is getting misrouted on one track, maybe another channel will get through. Finally, I try three times because I think that strikes a reasonable balance between making a persistent effort and being excessive. If someone chooses not to respond three times, they likely received my communication and are just not interested. Of course, they can always respond and explicitly say “no, thanks,” but since many do not, I choose to cease and desist after three tries and put my time and effort elsewhere.

Communication is at the heart of relationships, and relationships underpin businesses, so it is worthwhile to develop effective communication strategies to connect with others – and not get discouraged too easily.