Whole Personhood

There is something about the advancing years, marked by birthdays, New Year’s celebrations, and life stages, that invites pausing for a bit of introspection and reflection. What makes up a whole life?

As 2023 winds to a close, I find myself thinking back to New Year’s Eve 2022, when I was so done with all that 2022 had come to represent for me personally. There was an unexpected health crisis, the evaporation of support from my Board, the surprising revelations that relationships I relied on were actually just transactional instead of genuine, all close family members in the midst of challenging transitions, and so on. As I peered across that New Year’s threshold into 2023, I wondered where and how I would find my footing again, yet I also felt this vivid moment of God’s hand reaching for me, leading me across that threshold, and drawing me into his embrace. Now, a year later, I am reflecting back over both 2023 and even further to see the bigger trendlines.

While 2023 ultimately proved to be stuffed full of an abundance of entrepreneurial possibilities to explore, I find that, as I look back, my perspective on the meaning and themes of the year is focused on deeper and more fundamental things. Even as I am excited about the new opportunities God has invited me to work on, with new people to collaborate with, new problems to solve, and new businesses to build, as I look back at the sweep of the past year, that stuff almost seems to be only the chop on the surface of the deeper waves and currents.  

It is easy to get our self-perceived identity linked to our work roles. I am a startup CEO. But that identity is just an accumulation of decades of learning, experiences, relationships, and insights that make me both efficient and effective at doing the work of building entrepreneurial companies. Most definitely, it is part of me. However, arguably, it is just the manifestation of who God designed me to be, with my particular mix of traits, capacities, capabilities, experiences, and circumstances that have unfolded and built over the past half-century.

But is that me? My whole identity? No, it is not. In fact, it is only part of me. And that is important because it is that broader picture that gives me the ballast to navigate the cross-currents of life and to cope with setbacks, rejections, and other challenging moments. Now that I am 56 years old, it seems ever more important to remember and integrate all of the elements of my whole life, including all those other parts that make me a complete person. Outside of my work identity, what else makes up me?

• FAMILY:  What about my nearly 40 years with my husband/best friend – and all the experiences we have on our shared journey, the children we have birthed and raised together? My marriage transcends my businesses because it is a lifetime commitment – and that mutual commitment and support has always been my foundation to lean into underneath the churn of work life. Raising my daughters from inception to adulthood has been a journey of learning humility, patience, wisdom, and what deep love feels and looks like. Today, those relationships with daughters and son-in-law are drop-everything-else important – and have given me a glimpse of perspective on what God feels for his children. One’s immediate family represents some of our most important commitments, relationships, and sources of strength. Providing for them is often a driving motivation to work hard while still prioritizing my relationships with them.

• FAITH: What about the fact that God invited me into a personal relationship with him, my creator who knows all of me with perfection and embraces me with complete acceptance and love? For him, the day-to-day circumstances and challenges I face are merely props on a stage where the real story is all about that profound, foundational, and eternal relationship. 2023 began with God inviting me to burrow deeply into him, to be reminded of who I am to him and how unimportant all of the froth of this world is when faced with the endless, eternal love of God. My spiritual life and relationships transcend so much of what happens day-to-day, and for me, transcend even the limitations of my own birth-to-death journey, providing a foundational identity, relationship, and significance that make the day-to-day hurdles into insignificant bumps along the road as I can incorporate the power of forgiveness, thankfulness, and joy in my life.
  
  
• SERVICE: What about my volunteer service commitments?  These are the parts of me that take great joy in supporting others. Contributing my time and talents as a long-time Hope Clinic Board member, I get to witness God’s care and faithfulness to many people in the world, with miracles being almost routine. With God’s mercy and grace, Hope Clinic seeks to be a beacon of light, offering whole-person respect and care to those in need by those who reach outside of themselves to give. Fourteen years of this service and it never gets old to see how Jesus can upend the expectations of the world and transform lives. As a Michigan Founders Fund advisor and blogger for startup leaders, I get a chance to support other entrepreneurs in both big and small ways while taking great joy in witnessing the great work going on in our startup community. Finding others whose values are aligned with mine and where I can contribute somehow makes life more meaningful on so many levels.
  
  
• FRIENDSHIP: What about those people who pour into my life and whose lives I get to impact? Finding my people matters so much to my emotional well-being! This can sometimes happen with close colleagues, extended family members, and those people who intersect and journey through life with us. In 2023, the amazing relationships that are forging through my involvement in the Women Leaders in Healthcare are a revelation as I feel like I have found a whole community of executive women to connect with in profoundly meaningful ways. Some friendships ebb and flow through decades together as we connect, support, and celebrate life together. These relationships are an opportunity to lift others up even as they lift me up, and I treasure them!

• SELF-CARE:  What about taking care of myself to ensure that I have the reserves needed for everything else?  Being intentional about taking care of myself is essential fuel for the rest of life. Sometimes, this area seems like the easiest to sacrifice; however, as anyone who has been whomped by an infection or other health crisis knows, we are more fragile than we sometimes like to admit. Without a healthy body, everything else suffers! So fitting in healthy eating, consistent exercise, regular sleep, recreational reading, rejuvenating time with friends, consistent healthcare, and a massage here and there is critical. Discipline and intention for ourselves as well as supporting those around us matters.

Thank you for reading some of my reflections as this year draws to a close. Perhaps they will stimulate some of your own contemplations on what is important and what you have to be thankful for in your life. May they also affirm that there is more to life than just work – and may we never lose sight of that! Happy New Year – and may your 2024 and beyond be blessed!