Appreciating Important Things in Life

The holiday season is upon us – and I always find that this time of the year induces stepping back and reflecting on life’s bigger picture – seeing the trends and threads weaving together into the hills, mountains, and deep valleys that our life journeys consist of.

Twenty months ago, I was surprised by a diagnosis of tumors in the frontal lobe area of my brain. Eighteen months ago, I had a 12-hour brain surgery to remove these ultimately-determined-to-be-benign meningiomas that were causing swelling and pain in my brain. While I was back to work leading a startup full-time six weeks later, the whole months-long situation created uncertainty, reaction, and reflection not only for me and my family but also for my investors and colleagues. Fear is never a sound basis for wise decision-making. And, while my neurosurgeon and I were not afraid, the fear of others led to my departure from the startup I had poured six years of my energy and life into just over a year ago now.

That unexpected and traumatic change cascaded into losing healthcare coverage, treasured relationships, and work focus. The consequence was physical, mental, and emotional pain that set back and clouded my neurosurgery recovery as I experienced sudden isolation, loneliness, and career uncertainty. Even as I was finding my bearings and beginning to explore new directions, things got even more challenging in 2023 as each of my family members also went through very difficult seasons in their own lives. When it rains, it pours sometimes!

Now, looking back after some time, I have a new appreciation for the important things in life (at least according to my values!). Part of 2022 and 2023 has been scoping out and reflecting, especially with my best friend and husband, who has been my partner for over 39 years now, on what matters to us as we reassess our values, purpose, impact, and relationships. We have spent many hours looking out much further in time, from decades past to considering what might come in future decades and what is important to me and my husband in the future eras of our lives. A few of those reflections and perspectives make sense to share with all of you this Thanksgiving season:

• My spiritual foundation is such an essential source of strength! It was where I turned to quell my own initial fear, and that core comfort in my relationship with God and his involvement in my life is a daily touchstone. During these past months, especially in the darkest days, I went deeper spiritually – and treasured the touchpoints with my Christian friends, who poured into me and were lifelines when I struggled. Today, I can see that my roots have grown deeper and stronger than ever.
  

• People and relationships matter to me a lot. I rejoice in the new people God has brought into my life, even as I mourn the loss of those who have pruned themselves out of it. This year, I have expanded my network of relationships, including many more executive women who are both inspiring and nurturing. I have found more of my people! And I am acutely aware that the people I choose to journey with and who choose to journey with me are critically important. There is no room for compromise here.

• I am more acutely aware than ever of the fragility of startups. As I observed many startups this past year, I have been reminded of the profound struggle required to succeed in founding, funding, and flourishing. I have a new appreciation for the daunting statistics regarding the sky-high failure rates of venture-backed startups – and the many elements that must combine to achieve success. The startup road is harder than many imagine. Know yourself – and reflect carefully before launching down this road- the costs along many dimensions can be brutally high if just a few crucial elements are missing.
  

• I am still excited about the potential of startups to make a positive difference in the world! I have been exploring so many new possibilities, engaging with many startups and startup founders, and learning each step of the way. As I hunted for what I wanted to pour into next, I looked under many rocks. Sometimes, a possibility looked promising, but more digging revealed a likely fatal flaw. Sometimes, working with someone for a while revealed that our values did not align. Sometimes, there was an issue with geography, technology, need, culture, or integrity. A few times, the more I got involved, the more excited I became about the potential of this combination of people tackling this specific problem to succeed in moving the needle for good in the world. Yet with risk comes the chance of reward – and impact. I am not ready to stop pushing for impact yet! 

• Thank you to those who read my blog! Your feedback, often in person, that my blog work has been helpful or made a difference matters and motivates me. I am always thinking about what I wish I knew as a first-time founder/startup CEO. I have been writing a post at least once a week since 2020, reflecting on and synthesizing learnings to share in hopes of giving a hand to others. This blog now has over 200 posts! And I do not feel done yet!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am profoundly thankful as this year comes to a close – and I hope you are as well! I hope that we all can find ways to intentionally find purpose, meaning, and impact in our lives at whatever stage we find ourselves.